ThriveHer Ep 15 - Silence Your Inner Critic: Build Confidence That Lasts

Voiceover: 00:00:03

Welcome to the ThriveHer podcast, where we empower women to take control of their unique health conditions and wellness journey during perimenopause and beyond. Our goal is to help you dream big and reach your fullest potential in every part of your life.

Each week, the podcast dives into expert insights, natural solutions and inspiring stories to support you on your journey. And now, here's your host, your No Nonsense Naturopath, Rochelle Waite.

Rochelle Waite: 00:00:31

Hello and welcome back to the ThriveHer podcast. Whether you're tuning in for the first time or you've been with me since the beginning, I am so grateful that you're here right now, in this moment.

You've chosen to take some time for yourself. And let me tell you that that's the first step towards thriving.

Today's episode might just be one of the most important that we've done together because we're tackling something that every single one of us faces at some point, whether we admit it or not. The voice of our inner critic. You know the one I mean.

That nagging, doubting voice that seems to pop up at the worst times, when you're already feeling vulnerable or when you're about to take a big step forward. So let me ask you this. What's the first thing you say to yourself when something doesn't go as planned?

Maybe you've missed a deadline, skipped a workout, or caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and thought, ugh, what's wrong with me? And maybe it's not just when things go wrong.

Maybe it's that voice in there all the time, whispering things like, I'm not good enough, I'm too old to do that, or why do I even bother trying? The hardest part is that after hearing this voice for so long, it stops feeling like a critic and starts feeling like the truth.

It becomes this constant background noise shaping how you see yourself and what you think you're capable of. And here's the thing. Even the most confident, capable women you know have moments when this voice creeps in.

Maybe you're stepping into something new, a wellness goal, a professional opportunity, or even trying to carve out some time for yourself. And that voice says, who do you think you are to even try? Does this sound familiar? But here's the truth I want you to hear loud and clear today.

That voice, it's not the real you. It's just a story, a pattern your brain has been playing on repeat for years, maybe decades.

And while that voice might feel powerful, here's the good news. You can rewire it. You can Quiet that critic and replace it with a voice that lifts you up.

A voice that supports and encourages you instead of holding you back. Now, by the end of this episode, you'll know exactly how to start rewriting that story.

We'll explore where the inner critic comes from, why it feels so loud sometimes, and most importantly, how to take back control. This isn't about pretending your doubts don't exist.

It's about learning how to build confidence through action, self compassion, and small, consistent steps. So grab your coffee, tea, or journal, and let's head in.

So I want to talk about that inner critic for a moment, because if you ever feel like you're carrying around this invisible judge, whispering negativity in your ear all day, you're not alone. It's so common, and it's something we all face at some point, whether we admit it or not.

Maybe it's that voice that says, you're not disciplined enough to stick with this, or you don't deserve to take time for yourself. You've got too many responsibilities. Or maybe it's even more subtle than that. Maybe it's that constant feeling of, I should be doing more.

Why can't I just get it together? I want you to think back to the last time you had an opportunity to try something new.

Maybe it was stepping up for a leadership role, signing up for a fitness class, or even just prioritising your own health after putting it on the back burner for years and putting others first. What's the first thought that came to your mind? Was it excitement? Or did the doubt creep in? Did you have thoughts like, what if I fail?

What if people judge me? Or am I even good enough to take this on? If this tug of war sounds familiar, I want you to know you're not alone.

The voice, that inner critic, is something we all experience, no matter how successful or accomplished we are. And let's be honest, it can feel exhausting, can't it?

Like your own mind is holding you back from stepping into the opportunities that are meant for you. But here's the thing. That initial spark of excitement, that's the real you. That's the part of you that knows that you're capable and ready to grow.

And the good news is that you don't have to let the doubt win. You don't have to let the critic drown your excitement or stop you from thriving. So here's where it gets interesting.

That voice, it isn't something we're born with. It's something you learn over the years. We pick up messages from the world around us.

Whether it's a harsh comment from a teacher being passed over for a promotion, or societal pressures on how we should look or act. Think about your own life. Maybe someone told you you're not creative enough and now you doubt your ability to pursue your dreams.

Or maybe you've internalised the belief that you always have to put others first and now your inner critic tells you that you're selfish. When you prioritise your. Psychologists call this the negativity bias.

It's a survival mechanism hardwired into our brains, designed to help our ancestors avoid danger. But today, that same bias often shows up as self doubt and harsh talk instead of keeping us safe. The inner critic isn't permanent. It's just a habit.

Your brain has been practicing for years. And like any habit, it can be unlearned. So let's talk about how to recognise it and how to rewrite it.

So one of the most powerful ways to reframe your inner critic is by replacing judgment with curiosity. When that voice says, you'll never figure this out, pause and ask yourself, what can I learn from this situation?

What small step can I take to move forward? Or even, what if I approach this with curiosity instead of fear?

So let's say your inner critic says, you're too out of shape to join that fitness class. You'll embarrass yourself. Instead of letting that thought stop, you get curious. What type of movement would feel good for me right now?

What's one small, manageable way I can start taking care of my body today? Curiosity shifts your focus from judgment to possibility.

Instead of letting fear control your choices, you're creating space for growth, learning and action. And here's why this works. Every time you challenge a negative thought and replace it with something more constructive, you're rewiring your brain.

Neuroscientists call this neuroplasticity, which is your brain's ability to change and adapt at any age. Think of your brain like a field of grass. Every time you think a thought, it's like walking through that field.

If you keep walking the same path of I'm not good enough or I always fail, that path becomes clearer and easier to follow. But when you challenge those thoughts and choose something different, like I'm learning, you're creating a new path.

And over time, that path becomes the default. Now you don't have to silence the critic completely. It's about creating enough space for a new and more supportive voice to take root.

Every time you notice, pause and reframe. You're Proving to yourself that you're stronger than that old story.

Now that we've talked about recognizing and reframing your inner critic, let's talk about the real magic. How to take action even when that voice feels so loud. And this is where the real transformation happens.

Because confidence isn't something you wake up with one day. It's not something that you get from reading a book or even listening to a podcast. Even this one.

Confidence is something you build step by step through your actions. Your inner critic feeds on inaction. Every time you avoid something because of fear or doubt, you reinforce its message.

It's like handing it a microphone and saying, go ahead, keep talking. But when you take even the smallest step forward, when you act in spite of that voice, you're proving it wrong.

You're showing yourself that you can do the hard things. And here's the best part. Every small action you take builds trust with yourself. And that trust is the foundation of lasting confidence.

Let's say your inner critic is saying you're too out of shape to join that yoga class and that everyone will judge you. And it feels easier to avoid the situation altogether, right? You don't sign up.

You promise yourself you'll start at home, but somehow it doesn't happen. And your inner critic feels validated, whispering, see, I told you you couldn't do it. But what if you took a different approach?

What if instead of telling that voice completely, you just acknowledged it, said, yeah, okay, I hear you. You're afraid of failing, but I'm doing this for me. So you sign up for the class.

And maybe it's not perfect, maybe you're late or your downward dog feels more like a shanky plank. But the moment you show up, you've proven to yourself, I can do the hard things. I can take action even when I'm scared.

You're no longer trying to silence the critique by force. Instead you're letting your own actions prove it wrong. And every time you do this, you're building trust with yourself.

And it's that trust that leads to lasting confidence. And here's why. Small, consistent action is so powerful. It's backed by science. Research by Dr. B.J. fogg, a behavioural scientist at Ste.

Stanford, shows that starting with tiny, manageable actions, what he calls tiny habits, is the most effective way to create lasting change. And that's the basis of everything that we do at ThriveHer.

So, for example, instead of committing to a 60 minute workout, just start with five minutes of movement. Instead of journaling for 30 minutes, start with the Single sentence.

And instead of overhauling your diet, cutting out major food groups, how about we focus on adding one extra vegetable to your plate? Now, these small actions might seem insignificant, but they're incredibly powerful because they build momentum.

Each small win rewires your brain for success.

A study published in the Journal of Cognitive Therapy found that pairing small goal oriented actions with reflection framed self talk significantly reduces self criticism and increases confidence. It's not about doing more. It's about doing the right things in a way that feels sustainable and being kind to yourself.

Here's something I want you to remember. Confidence isn't built through perfection. It's built through progress. Success isn't about doing everything flawlessly.

It's about showing up even when it's messy. It's about choosing to act even when you're scared. And it's about celebrating the small steps along the way because every single one of them matters.

Let's say you've been avoiding reconnecting with an old friend because your inner critic says she probably doesn't want to hear from you. Instead of avoiding the situation, you send her a quick message. Hi, I was thinking about you today and wanted to say hello.

It's a small action, but it's powerful because you've just proven to yourself that you can act in spite of your doubts. The next time your inner critic shows up, instead of fighting it, acknowledge it.

Say thank you for trying to protect me, but I've got this, and then take one small step forward. Confidence isn't about silencing every doubt. It's about building trust with yourself, one small action at a time.

Every time you take a step forward, you're rewriting the story your brain has been telling you. And I know you can do this because you've already overcome challenges you thought you couldn't.

Before we wrap up today, let me give you a sneak peek into what's coming next. Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by the simplest choices, like deciding what to eat, what to wear, or how to organize your day?

And this becomes an exhausting mental marathon. You're not alone. Decision fatigue is real, and it's something so many of us struggle with, especially when life feels full of stress and demands.

Next week, we're diving into the art of simplifying your life through what I call a decision detox. We'll talk about how to cut through the noise, make decisions with clarity and confidence, and let go of the overthinking that's keeping us stuck.

So if you're ready to stop feeling overwhelmed by endless choices, and start living with more ease. Don't miss this episode and make sure you subscribe because this one's going to be a game changer. So I want to leave you with this.

Listening to this episode today was already a big step because awareness is where the change begins. But real transformation happens when you take action, even if it's small, imperfect and just for you. So here's my challenge for you for this week.

What is one small step you can take to quiet your inner critic? Maybe it's reframing one negative thought or finally saying yes to something you've been avoiding.

Whatever it is, take the step and don't keep it to yourself.

Inside the ThriveHer tribe, which is part of the ThriveHer membership, you'll find tools and resources and a community of women reading to support you. Together, we're rewriting the stories that hold us back and proving that small steps can lead to big changes.

And if this episode spoke to you, I would love you to leave a review. Your words could help another woman take her first step towards thriving and I thank you for being part of this mission.

So until next time, keep believing in yourself, keep striving for more, and keep thriving. Because your best life is just ahead.

Voiceover: 00:17:14

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the ThriveHer podcast. We hope you found value, valuable insights and practical tips to help you on your path to achieving everything you want in life.

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